1
00:00:03,004 --> 00:00:04,644
Na-no, na-no.
2
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:35,905
Okay, kids,
3
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,941
something new for today.
It's called "record hour."
4
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:40,143
Stuff record hour.
5
00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:41,878
I'd rather have lunch hour.
6
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:43,613
Come on, now, Stephanie,
you just had lunch,
7
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:46,216
and somewhere, a small
country's going hungry.
8
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,051
What's record hour, Mork?
9
00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:49,619
Oh, well, record hour's a...
10
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:50,987
Well, Mindy gave
us a record player
11
00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,222
so we can play those records
12
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,823
I've been wanting to
play for a long time.
13
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:56,359
Wonderful stories. Today we
have a little fairy tale documentary
14
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:58,995
called War of the Worlds.
15
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:01,298
It's told to us by the biggest
Mother Goose of them all,
16
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:03,567
Orson Welles.
17
00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:06,736
There we go. Watch
this. Here we go.
18
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,538
Spin.
19
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:09,995
Manual.
20
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,499
There we are. There we go.
21
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,492
We bought it from
Nixon's secretary.
22
00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:29,748
Hold on.
23
00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:33,396
Well, there seems to be,
24
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:35,898
as the Egyptians say,
"tut-tut, a problem."
25
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:37,667
Well...
26
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,124
I killed it.
27
00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:44,107
I've committed stereocide!
28
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:47,244
Stereocide, stereocide, no!
29
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:49,668
I'm gonna go to
Dolby hell for this.
30
00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:53,783
I guess record
hour just bit the dust.
31
00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,619
Oh, no, it didn't! No, no, no!
32
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,220
The show must go on,
José, because if not,
33
00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:59,822
we'll lose our grant from
the Chrysler Foundation.
34
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,992
Come on, wait. We'll start over
from the beginning, all right?
35
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:03,993
Here we go.
36
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,328
♪ Da da da ♪
37
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,365
Once upon a time,
38
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,167
a group of people
decided to leave their home
39
00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,434
and heads towards...
40
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,470
Heads towards...
Heads towards...
41
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:16,873
Heads towards... Head
towards Earth. Thank you.
42
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:19,142
See, that's the way the record
does it at Mindy's house too.
43
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,810
It's a little touch
of realism here.
44
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:22,579
Mork, could you finish the story
45
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:25,036
while we're still kids?
46
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,117
Thank you, Lola. No pressure.
47
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:30,520
Now, basically, the
story ends like this.
48
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,121
All these aliens
landed in Hollywood,
49
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:34,123
they were put on hold and
they died a horrible death.
50
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:37,460
Well, that's all for
today. Time for playtime.
51
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,729
Mrs. Fowler's waiting
for you out in the yard.
52
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,698
Remember, don't tie her
up like you did yesterday.
53
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,682
Someone tied a
real good hitch knot.
54
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:48,238
Have a good time.
Be careful. Be careful.
55
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:51,196
That's okay, Mork. We
know you meant well.
56
00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:54,099
Thanks for the pity, Jonathan.
57
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,715
I blew it in front of
all the munchkins.
58
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,917
What am I gonna tell Mindy
about her record player?
59
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,885
All right, everybody with
a working record player
60
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:05,522
take one step forward.
Not so fast, McConnell!
61
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:06,856
Hi. Whoa, what makes you think
62
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,359
there's something wrong
with your record player?
63
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:11,027
What? Hm?
64
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:14,163
All right, all right!
All right, I'll tell you.
65
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:17,634
Well, your record player
has se habla appliance, finito.
66
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:19,969
Oh, no, not again.
67
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:22,239
I just got this thing
fixed last week.
68
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:24,874
Well, obviously, the
repairman did a crummy job.
69
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:27,377
I thought everyone on Earth
took pride in what they did, Min.
70
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:28,678
Well, most do, Mork.
71
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,480
Let's just hope this
repairman is one of them.
72
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:31,615
That's strange, Min.
73
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,583
Throughout the universe,
all work is guaranteed.
74
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,719
I have a warranty from
the lab I was made in.
75
00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:36,720
For what?
76
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:37,887
Well, ankle blowouts,
77
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:40,379
rusted skin, coughing up frogs.
78
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,226
Wait a minute. They
guarantee Orkans?
79
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:44,361
Yeah.
80
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,796
I was the only Orkan
ever to be recalled.
81
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:49,031
What? Wait a minute.
82
00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:50,533
Don't tell me you
coughed up a frog?
83
00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:51,601
Oh, no, no.
84
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,102
No, I was jogging at
the speed of sound,
85
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,205
I turned a corner real fast,
and my rear end fell off.
86
00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:59,609
But... But they fixed it,
Min. No ifs, ands, or buts.
87
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:09,653
Hello, Strand's Repair Shop?
This is Mindy McConnell.
88
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:11,888
Yes, the same one that
called you this morning.
89
00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:14,724
I thought I'd try to
convince you one more time.
90
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:17,226
But I already paid for it once.
91
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:18,795
Tough what?
92
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,029
Now, listen, you...
93
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:22,265
Wait a minute. Don't
put me on hold! I...
94
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:24,367
They put me on hold.
95
00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:26,436
Come in!
96
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:28,427
I mean, come in.
97
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,040
Hi, Mindy.
98
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,809
Did we catch you at a bad time?
99
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,877
I hate it when they
put you on hold.
100
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,901
And they're playing
"Put On a Happy Face."
101
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:41,017
Oh, I'll just call
them back later.
102
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,385
My, my, it isn't often
103
00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:44,954
we see the dark side
of Mindy Poppins.
104
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:47,691
We're gonna take a little
drive up into the snow,
105
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:48,958
and we thought
maybe you and Mork
106
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,294
wanted to come along
and help build snowwomen.
107
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:55,432
Anatomically correct
until the sun comes out.
108
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:57,567
Oh, thanks, you guys,
but Mork's not here,
109
00:05:57,591 --> 00:06:00,002
and I'm too ticked
off to go anywhere.
110
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,171
Wait, we're family,
and we think as one.
111
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,973
Let me guess
what's troubling you.
112
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:04,974
Crime in the streets?
113
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:07,510
Yes. But not this time.
114
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:11,414
I'm mad because I took my stereo
down to have it fixed last week,
115
00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:13,717
and this week, it doesn't
work again for the same reason,
116
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:16,152
and I can't get the repairman
to stand behind his work and...
117
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,787
And fix it again.
118
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,956
You know, I have a
system that works for me
119
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,290
when something breaks down.
120
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,392
Maybe it'll work for you.
121
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:23,493
What's that?
122
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:26,563
I throw it away
and buy a new one.
123
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:29,065
Glenda, you'd throw away
a perfectly good stereo?
124
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:32,101
Well, I'd take the
records off first.
125
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,371
Isn't that a little
bit wasteful?
126
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:37,607
No, not really. I do
it to relieve stress.
127
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:39,809
You see, I just don't
throw things away,
128
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:43,913
I give them a
sound thrashing first.
129
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:47,784
Glenda, you're so, esoteric.
130
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,352
That's what I like about you.
131
00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:51,287
And that's what
I like about you.
132
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:53,990
That you like that about me.
133
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:56,493
You know, Glenda,
134
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:59,696
I feel the stirrings of
something special between us,
135
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,280
don't you? No.
136
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,066
Maybe if I got her drunk.
137
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:09,839
Oh, Min, Min, kiss those
repair blues goodbye.
138
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:12,842
Ha-ha, boy! Boy, we're
gonna sue that sucker real bad.
139
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:17,046
We're gonna habeas his corpus,
or my name isn't F. Lee Mork.
140
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:20,283
What's the little jellybean
chattering about now?
141
00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:21,551
Oh, not chattering at all.
142
00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:23,520
After I read these law
books I got from the library.
143
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:26,064
Look at this, Min:
Disney v. Duck.
144
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:29,292
When did you get a library card?
145
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,260
Card?
146
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:34,230
You can't take books out
of the library without a card.
147
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,265
Oh.
148
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,000
No wonder that old lady
hurdled over the desk
149
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,436
and chased me down the street.
150
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,805
She would have caught me
too, if her cane hadn't snapped.
151
00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:46,242
Nice try, guy, but
you're wasting your time.
152
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,110
Lawsuits drag on for years.
153
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,446
Why does justice take so long?
154
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:52,715
Because lawyers
are paid by the hour.
155
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:55,418
Well, I just can't let
him get away with this.
156
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:56,686
I'm going down there,
157
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,588
and I'm gonna make
him fix this thing.
158
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:00,757
And if he won't do it, at
least I'll have the satisfaction
159
00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:02,224
of giving him a good
piece of my mind.
160
00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:04,226
I should go in case you give
him too much of your mind.
161
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,763
You might need someone
to show you the way home.
162
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:09,532
Mindy, you should come
on that drive with us.
163
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:11,167
A couple of hours in the snow,
164
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:13,636
and you'll see how
unimportant turntables are
165
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,772
in the grand scheme of life.
166
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,774
It puts everything
into perspective.
167
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:20,343
The crisp, chilly, frosty air.
168
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,912
It's a winter wonderland.
169
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:24,514
Well, thanks, you
guys. It sounds great,
170
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:25,982
but I really have
to take care of this.
171
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,984
Oh, Min, while we're out
in that winter wonderland,
172
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,586
maybe we could do
some favors for people,
173
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,220
like chip the frozen
birds off their trees
174
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,989
and fling them south.
175
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:51,140
Oh, boy, Mork, I hope
I can hold my temper.
176
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:52,609
Oh, that's all right, Min.
177
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,777
Here, you hold the record
player, I'll hold your temper.
178
00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:57,241
Just put it on the table
over there, please.
179
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,785
That's him. That's Mr. Strand.
180
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:04,787
Oh, he seems like a
nice man. Watch this.
181
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,188
Hello. What the
hell do you want?
182
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,558
Min, not my lucky day.
183
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:11,082
Mr. Strand, I'd
like you to fix this.
184
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:15,665
Wasn't this thing
in here last week?
185
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:18,735
As a matter of fact, it was,
and it still doesn't work.
186
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:19,736
So?
187
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,704
So I think you should fix it.
188
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,406
Sure. I'd be happy
to fix it for you.
189
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:24,407
You would?
190
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:26,776
Yep. For my basic
service charge.
191
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,277
What? He said his basic se...
192
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,914
I heard what he said,
Mork, but that's not fair.
193
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:32,381
I brought this
thing in last week,
194
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,550
you didn't fix it right,
195
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,652
and I think you should
fix it again for free.
196
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,655
Look, lady, this worked fine
when it left the shop, here.
197
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,322
You want that fixed free?
198
00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:42,391
You got to go to
the manufacturer.
199
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,993
Okay, where's that?
200
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,494
Taiwan.
201
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:47,830
Thank you. When do they close?
202
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:50,567
Listen, mister, for
your information,
203
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,936
I happen to work for KTNS-TV,
204
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,303
and I think a lot
of people out there
205
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:56,338
would be real interested to
hear how you do business.
206
00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:57,707
Oh, that's terrific.
207
00:09:57,731 --> 00:09:59,742
While you're at it, tell
them about this mixer, here.
208
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,911
It's been here for a month.
Belongs to Ralph Nader.
209
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,446
Now, get out of my shop!
210
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:06,082
Mork, if I wasn't a
lady, I'd drop him.
211
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,384
That's all right, Min.
I'm no lady. Watch this.
212
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,587
All right, sir. You think
you're so tough? Come on.
213
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:12,956
I dare you to knock this off
my shoulder. Come on, now.
214
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,490
Hey, hey! You're
talking to a guy
215
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,714
that doesn't know the
meaning of the word "quit."
216
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,095
Whoa! "Quit."
Verb, intransitive.
217
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,263
Means to cease or
desist a plan of action.
218
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,566
That's it, go on. Out,
out. Get out of here.
219
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:24,968
All right, we're going.
220
00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:28,304
But you haven't heard the
last from me, Mr. Strand.
221
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,406
And you haven't seen
the last of her, Mr. Strand.
222
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,041
All right, get the
heck out of here!
223
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:34,465
Couldn't we talk this
over a couple sissy drinks?
224
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,446
I'm warning you.
225
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,515
What are you, Jack the whipper?
226
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:41,317
Come on, you want
to mix it up with me?
227
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,418
Oh, yeah? Yeah? Yeah.
228
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:43,820
Well, I'm not afraid
of you! Oh, no?
229
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,554
Yeah, but my feet are.
Two to one. They win.
230
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:46,823
Don't fail me now!
231
00:10:58,025 --> 00:11:00,136
Min, Mork is one
consumer who's had enough.
232
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,038
Listen, I've written
all the way to the top.
233
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,995
"Dear Pope John Paul,"
234
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:12,336
"Gloria, Gloria,
G-L-O-R-I-A, Gloria.
235
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,985
Morkus Orkus."
236
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:18,621
Whoa, talk about
your fast service.
237
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:20,523
That's His Eminence now.
238
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:21,958
Shh! Shh! Min, get some Urim.
239
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:23,592
Quick, get some Urim.
240
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:26,162
♪ Ave Mari... ♪
241
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,630
Oh, it's you.
242
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:29,888
I thought it was the guy
with the little red shoes.
243
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:33,970
Don't try to figure it out.
244
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,805
Yeah, well, I was on my
way home from rehearsal,
245
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:36,973
and I thought I'd drop by
246
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:38,607
and take a look at
your record player.
247
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:41,644
Thanks, Dad, but it... It's
a complicated machine.
248
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:43,913
Well, honey, I used
to fix all your toys.
249
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:46,683
Remember when I put that
front wheel back on your tricycle?
250
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,051
It worked fine.
251
00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:50,352
Yeah. Until the night I
rode down Feldman's hill.
252
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,310
But you said the
sparks were pretty.
253
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,487
Whoa, I... I didn't know you
were an appliance doctor.
254
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,195
Dad.
255
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,831
Well, it... It always
works on my TV.
256
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:04,834
Hey, here's that screwdriver
you asked to borrow.
257
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,102
Be careful with it.
258
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:09,305
My parents gave it
to me for graduation.
259
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:11,562
Tells you a lot about
the folks, doesn't it?
260
00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,480
That's a real sweet gift, Bick.
261
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:20,249
Yeah, it's a family trait.
262
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,218
I hope this screwdriver
doesn't work.
263
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,519
It's nice to have a break
264
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:26,388
from that sound-effects
record Mork keeps playing.
265
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,524
It's not easy to get a
woman in the mood
266
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:30,392
with the sound of
stampeding elephants
267
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,028
coming from the next apartment.
268
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,485
No, no, no, that's
ferrets in love.
269
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:41,037
I'll wait for the video disc.
270
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:43,106
Honey, don't worry.
We'll get it fixed.
271
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:45,208
I'll have this
manual figured out
272
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,409
in two or three weeks.
273
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,912
You know, I had a
typewriter fixed once,
274
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,914
but when I started
writing my greeting cards,
275
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,883
it still wouldn't
type the letter "L."
276
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:57,441
Can you imagine?
"Good uck on your trip."
277
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,289
Nighty night.
278
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,873
Oh, hello, Fred.
It's always fun.
279
00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:08,397
Honey, why don't we just
save ourselves the aggravation
280
00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,432
and I'll pay for
the repair myself?
281
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,968
Oh, Dad.
282
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:14,804
I mean, thanks anyway, but
it's the principle here that counts.
283
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:15,938
I mean, millions of people
284
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,808
are taken advantage
of like this every year.
285
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:22,078
No, there's gotta be
some way of getting justice.
286
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,847
Justice? Wheels turning.
287
00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:26,816
♪ Something's
happening Something big ♪
288
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:31,320
Mork has a better idea, Min.
289
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:34,623
Mork, what's going on
in that fertile Orkan mind?
290
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,092
Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.
291
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:39,083
It's just that justice
moves in strange ways.
292
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:44,803
See you later.
293
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:50,239
Yeah, and I thought
he'd never adjust.
294
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:58,002
I don't want to see that
Cuisinart in here again.
295
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,154
Ah.
296
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,510
Music to my ears.
297
00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:11,093
One, two, three, four...
298
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:12,761
Wha...? Wha...? What?
299
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:15,798
That'll teach me
to fix my own lights.
300
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:17,288
Oh, hey! Wha...?
301
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,424
Augustus J. Strand!
302
00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:23,806
Who are you?
303
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:24,841
What are you?
304
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:27,109
I am Tommy Kilowatt,
305
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:30,246
ghost of appliances past.
306
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:31,714
And you...
307
00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:33,249
Oh, wait. Time out.
308
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:36,418
And you are being put on
trial by the Supremes court...
309
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:38,087
♪ No, no You can't hurry law ♪
310
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:39,755
for a mistreatment of appliances
311
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:41,623
and their poor owners.
312
00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:43,525
A trial? No, no...
313
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:46,395
Uh, we're closed up for the...
314
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,331
I'm getting out of here. No.
315
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:54,403
Closed? Do you think
justice punches a time clock?
316
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,138
Do you think truth works 9 to 5?
317
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:58,040
Does Geraldo Rivera
ever stop talking?
318
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,708
I say, "nay!"
319
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,277
Let the trial begin.
320
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:07,083
Presiding over
tonight's circuit court,
321
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:10,519
the Honorable Judge
Oliver T. Wendell tube.
322
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:12,654
All those present
shall speak through me.
323
00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:16,893
Court shall now come to
order. Bailiff, seat the defendant.
324
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,601
Thank you, bailiff.
325
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:28,237
Prosecutor, call
your first witness.
326
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,006
Thank you, Your Honor.
327
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:34,076
It's a privilege to be in
this court here this evening.
328
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,045
I'd like to call
my first witness,
329
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,914
Mr. Ozzie T. Riser,
330
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:40,950
or as his friends call
him, "yo, blender."
331
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,919
Mr. Blender, do you
promise to tell the whole truth
332
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,887
and nothing but the
truth, so help your circuits?
333
00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:46,555
Thank you.
334
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:50,192
And now, Mr. Blender,
you're under oath.
335
00:15:50,216 --> 00:15:54,430
How many times have
you been in this repair shop?
336
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:58,457
He's lying!
337
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:01,137
I object, Your Honor.
338
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:03,906
Since when does the
defendant speak blender?
339
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:07,643
Four times. Four times
for a simple loose plug?
340
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:10,079
Wow, that's shocking.
341
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:14,350
Now, I would like to
call my next defendant.
342
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:17,208
Model DX-3000, please
roll forward if you may.
343
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,723
Would you please tell the court
344
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:24,460
what was life like
with this man here?
345
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,600
Sorry about that, Your
Honor. It's a foreign import.
346
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,269
I'll have to translate.
347
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:35,571
Hold it right there,
please. Hold it, now...
348
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:38,441
Oh, yeah.
349
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,943
This man would sell
his mother to his father.
350
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:41,967
Oh, no!
351
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:45,814
I've done nothing
wrong, I tell you! Nothing!
352
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,149
Oh, yes? Yes!
353
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,585
Au contraire, mon skinflint.
354
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:53,044
We have more evidence
here to hang you high.
355
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:55,891
Look, lady, it worked fine
356
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:57,626
when it left the shop.
You want it fixed free,
357
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,095
you take it back to
the manufacturer.
358
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:02,331
How did you...? How did you
get that? How did you do that?
359
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,866
Oh, the magic of wonderment.
360
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,001
Some trick!
361
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,702
No trick. Voodoo. Grigri.
362
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,170
Grigri?
363
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:09,771
We have another witness here
364
00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:11,140
to testify against you.
365
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:13,242
Mr. Harry P. Drier.
366
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:14,977
Whoa!
367
00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:17,546
Harry, will you
please tell the court
368
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:19,482
what this man has done to you?
369
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:21,950
What can I say? He's an animal!
370
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:25,388
He's abused me. If I
had a foot, I'd stamp it.
371
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:29,158
Your Honor, I never
laid a hand on him.
372
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:32,028
Why am I pleading to a TV?
373
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,996
Members of the jury,
374
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:36,032
do you believe this man?
375
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,973
It's a frame-up! I'm innocent!
376
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:45,874
I tell you it's a frame-up!
377
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:49,045
I'm innocent!
Innocent! Innocent!
378
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:52,181
Quiet in the court! All
in the courtroom now!
379
00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:55,051
I said quiet!
380
00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:59,110
Clerk, strike that noise
from the record, please.
381
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,862
Well, when do I get a
chance to speak for myself?
382
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:09,098
Oh, of course. I... I'm
your defense lawyer too.
383
00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:11,255
You? Yes, I'm AC/DC
384
00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:17,940
Hey, don't worry about nothing.
385
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:19,575
Don't you worry about
a thing, there, hey.
386
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,944
We'll get you out before you
can say "John Dean," don't worry.
387
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:24,280
Oh, it's weird, it's weird. All
these things talking to you.
388
00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:25,347
Don't let it bother you.
389
00:18:25,371 --> 00:18:26,971
I'd like to call a
surprise witness. Boo!
390
00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:29,518
Don't worry about that.
391
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,487
Surprise witness for you,
don't worry about that.
392
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,855
Hey, hey, how are you?
393
00:18:33,879 --> 00:18:37,059
I have been in Mr. Strand's shop
394
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,061
for over 40 years.
395
00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:46,068
So much for your defense, man.
396
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,170
I was gonna fix it tomorrow.
397
00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:49,905
I was, I was.
398
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:52,174
Jury, have you
reached a verdict?
399
00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:59,277
No!
400
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:08,613
I'm innocent!
401
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:12,828
I'm innocent! I... I'll change!
402
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:15,131
I give you my word!
403
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:17,533
Verdict is guilty!
404
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,836
Have mercy, I tell you!
405
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,038
And your word has been
broken so many times,
406
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:25,073
it's beyond repair.
407
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:27,209
Court is adjourned.
408
00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:29,033
Order in the court,
order in the court...
409
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:33,704
Wha...?
410
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,852
Huh?
411
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:38,142
Couldn't have been real.
412
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:41,089
No, no, no, no.
413
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,659
Yeah. I must have been dreaming.
414
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,228
No way, sucker!
415
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:01,143
How are we feeling today?
416
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:03,479
Let's see. Let's take a look.
417
00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:05,336
Thirty-three and a third.
418
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:09,117
Not too bad. Cough. Cough.
419
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:10,319
Morning.
420
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:11,387
Oh, morning, Min.
421
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:13,289
Feign nonchalance.
422
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,790
Min, I think today's
a wonderful day
423
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,992
to take the record
player back to the shop.
424
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:19,395
No, Mork, I think
today's a wonderful day
425
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:22,398
to go to work and make
money to buy a new one.
426
00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:24,466
Oh, Min, I think things
would be a lot different
427
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:25,967
if you'd take it back today.
428
00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:27,469
I don't know why.
There's this kind of,
429
00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:31,073
♪ Strange feeling
Passing through me ♪
430
00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:33,342
Mork, you didn't happen to
go to the repair shop last night,
431
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:35,199
did you? Could be.
432
00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:39,915
And you didn't happen to
talk to Mr. Strand, did you?
433
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,317
Could be, part two.
434
00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:47,278
Why am I worried to hear
about could be, part three?
435
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,695
Hi. Miss McConnell?
436
00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:55,397
I, uh... I just came
by to apologize to you.
437
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:56,632
I'm taking care
438
00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:59,301
of all my dissatisfied
customers personally.
439
00:20:59,325 --> 00:21:02,003
Uh, let's see, now. You had
the, uh, record player, right?
440
00:21:02,027 --> 00:21:03,405
Uh, right. Yeah, well, I'll...
441
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,874
I'll have this back to you,
uh, early Monday morning.
442
00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:07,610
It'll be all fixed,
free of charge.
443
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:09,878
Well... Well, that's
great, Mr. Strand,
444
00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:11,880
but why the sudden
change of heart?
445
00:21:11,904 --> 00:21:13,449
Uh, well, let's
just say that I...
446
00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:17,018
I had a, uh,
nightmare last night.
447
00:21:17,042 --> 00:21:18,654
It, uh... Anyway,
it made me realize
448
00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:21,390
that I should take a lot
more pride in my work.
449
00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:23,792
Oh, this has got
a little scratch.
450
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:25,728
You know, you ought
to treat your appliances
451
00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:27,396
with a lot more respect.
452
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:30,232
They have feelings
too, you know.
453
00:21:30,256 --> 00:21:32,468
Come on. Come on,
little fella. Here we go.
454
00:21:32,492 --> 00:21:33,724
See you.
455
00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:36,460
Bye.
456
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:41,510
Mork, he's like a
completely different man.
457
00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:43,111
What on earth could
have gotten into him?
458
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,280
Oh, nothing on earth, Min.
459
00:21:48,741 --> 00:21:49,752
Wait a minute.
460
00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:51,720
When you went
to the repair shop,
461
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:52,988
you didn't happen to:
462
00:21:54,013 --> 00:21:54,990
anything, did you?
463
00:21:55,014 --> 00:21:56,014
Wrong hand, Min.
464
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:01,497
You really shouldn't go around
zapping things all the time.
465
00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:03,865
But this time, you did good.
466
00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:06,935
I did good? That's the
second time this week.
467
00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:08,671
Oh, what was the first time?
468
00:22:08,695 --> 00:22:10,839
Remember how you were
talking about your job and you said
469
00:22:10,863 --> 00:22:13,074
anyone who's famous in TV has
her name known all over town?
470
00:22:13,098 --> 00:22:14,876
Well, Min, you are
gonna be up there in lights.
471
00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:16,712
I mean, known. A success.
472
00:22:16,736 --> 00:22:18,681
I am? Mm-hm.
473
00:22:18,705 --> 00:22:20,015
Oh, see, I went all over Boulder
474
00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:22,484
and wrote your name in
every phone booth in town.
475
00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:24,620
"For a perky time, call Mindy."
476
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:27,645
That's for you.
477
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:48,210
Hello?
478
00:22:58,344 --> 00:23:02,090
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
479
00:23:02,114 --> 00:23:05,549
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
480
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:10,332
Mork calling Orson. Come
in, your boob-tubeness.
481
00:23:10,356 --> 00:23:11,900
Is that you, Mork?
482
00:23:11,924 --> 00:23:15,571
Oh, yes, sir. Talk about your
bad connections here. Whoo!
483
00:23:15,595 --> 00:23:17,806
Beebs, have you been
chewing on the lines again?
484
00:23:17,830 --> 00:23:20,108
Lorne Greene said
kibble, not cable.
485
00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:22,611
Mork, pull yourself together.
486
00:23:22,635 --> 00:23:23,635
Yes, sir.
487
00:23:26,672 --> 00:23:29,585
Ah, good to have you back.
Sorry, sir, I lost my head.
488
00:23:29,609 --> 00:23:32,153
Have you been tinkering
with your knobs again?
489
00:23:32,177 --> 00:23:35,123
Oh, no way, sir. I just had
my 3000-report checkup.
490
00:23:35,147 --> 00:23:37,225
I must be suffering, sir,
from that universal disease
491
00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:38,761
called "shoddy workmanship."
492
00:23:38,785 --> 00:23:39,961
And one of the main symptoms
493
00:23:39,985 --> 00:23:41,764
is feeling like you've
just been ripped off.
494
00:23:41,788 --> 00:23:43,399
What causes this disease?
495
00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:47,436
Well, sir, apathy, lack of
pride in one's work, greed.
496
00:23:47,460 --> 00:23:49,204
What happened to responsibility?
497
00:23:49,228 --> 00:23:51,607
Well, sir, it's in the shop.
It'll be ready Tuesday.
498
00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:54,009
You see, sir, I've learned that
most Earthlings consider a job
499
00:23:54,033 --> 00:23:55,744
just a way of making money.
500
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:58,480
Isn't there a saying on
Earth, "money talks"?
501
00:23:58,504 --> 00:24:01,850
Yes, sir, but nothing speaks
as eloquently as a job well done,
502
00:24:01,874 --> 00:24:03,485
or Brooke Shields' jeans saying,
503
00:24:03,509 --> 00:24:05,487
"Give me air!"
504
00:24:07,547 --> 00:24:09,958
Until next week, sir, na-no...
505
00:24:16,656 --> 00:24:17,766
Na...
506
00:24:19,425 --> 00:24:20,724
N-NO.